Help me out of this rut.

[ashmc2]

To start, I’d like to say I’m new to the forum. This is my inaugural post and would appreciate any and all advice.

I am in a rut and I can’t seem to get out.

I’ll explain my dilemma, but first, a little background history.

I started playing about 2 1/2 years ago. I started in free $ at True poker for 6 months or so. And like most starting out, I played everything down to Jx suited and every 3 spaced suited connecter. Then, my first poker epiphany; there was something called strategy. lol. I read Hellmuth’s book and found Ultimate Bet and get this, a tighter No limit game. I started on UB in free $ and stayed there until I got sick of listening to the little run-mouths that get on at 3:30pm. You know to whom I refer to. The 13 year olds that just got home from school and are getting a good jumpstart at a chair at gambler’s anonymous. I talked the ol’ lady into $25 bucks. I made it about 4 months on the .01/.02 tables. I bought back on for another $25. I made it only a month. I took 6 months off. I dropped a fifty into my depleted account. Slowly I dwindled this bankroll down to $9 and decided I needed a new angle. I started a poker journal and started tracking what I lost on and what I won with. I made it back up to $30. I started reading everything I could get my greedy little hands on. I began to grow as a player. I got $50 and started playing 3 tables at a time. Went up to the .05/.10 tables at $100. At $150 I moved up to the .10/.25 stakes. I’ve been at the $180 - $210 range for over 3 months now. I live there. Back and forth. It’s driving me batty. I’ve been as high as $225 for a few days, and no lower than $182. which sadly is where I’m currently at.
I read every strategy article I can find on the Internet. I incorporate some of these into my game to help me become a more rounded player. Yet I seem to be at a poker standstill. It almost seems the more info I digest the worse I get. I am a semi-tight/aggressive player.

I know this quite vague and very general. But if anyone has any suggestions, drop them on me.
PS. My cash games are going real well. It’s just a weird online rut.

[Talking Poker]

Have you read any poker books? Reading articles online is one thing, but you really need to get your hands on some good books first. Depending on exactly what games you are playing (low limit NL cash games, it sounds like), I'm sure we can recommend a book or two for you to start with. Also, do a search for "poker books," as we have discussed this many times before.

Also, you may want to think about inveesting in some real tracking software - that's a great way to find out how you are really playing and start plugging some of the leaks in your games. Get Poker Tracker (see banner link at the bottom of this page). It's free for the first 1000 hands. That will be enough for you to get some info out of it, and maybe you'll decide to buy it after that.

Also, how many hands are you playing? If we're talkign only hundreds of thousands of hands, that's really not enough for you to determine if you are a long term winning or losing player. Normal variance could have you playing great and losing or playing terribly and winning. Other than reading some good books, the best way to improve is through experience. Play play play...

Also, I'm sure there are specific hands you wonder about as you are playing. Post some of those and get the input of the experts in this forum. Talking about specific hands have made a lot of people here much better players.

Hope that helps.

[ashmc2]

I’ve only read Hellmuth’s first book. And only a few chapters were on NL Holdem.
I’ve a lot of hands in my 2 ½ years. I’ve noticed while slowly moving up in stakes, that the comp gets a little better each step. I’m in the lower intermediate level of my poker knowledge. I analyze betting patterns at the table and play accordingly. I’m well on my way to learning outs, odds, and probabilities for quick mental reference. Unless I feel I’ve a read on someone I TRY to only play by pot odds when on a draw.

I’d be happy to have those book recommendations on low limit NL.

Other than my weekly cash games, (which I consistently crush. The only cards my friends play are at these weekly games. J,) I mostly spend my time at UB’s .10/.25 table.

I think I’m going to get away from the UB ring games this week. I’m going to play 10 $1 SNG’s and see how I fair. If I show a more than slight win %, I’m going to step up to $5 SNG’s and play 10.

Thank you for your thoughts and time. Don’t forget the reading recs.

Not that it matters or anyone cares. But I forgot to mention in my first post, that I also cashed out my original $100 plus, $40 because the wife was whining, and currently still have $182 in my account

[melioris]

Alright dude, here is my advice. I started out very similarly to what you are doing. First, cashing out is very good idea, particularly if it keeps the spouse happy. Based on what you wrote, my advice would be that if you run your bankroll down to $0, you are done. If that happens, you would have made $40 and wasted time, but that is it. It is not worth pissing your wife off and losing money.

Second, if you follow my first piece of advice, playing within your bankroll becomes the most important thing you can do. That way, if you go broke you know it is your own fault and not just a swing. The standard recommendations for NL is 20 buyins (buyin for the max, always). That means if you want to play $0.1/$0.25, you should have a $500 bankroll (($25 max buyin)x(20)=$500). I posted a thread recently about multi-tabling and bankroll, find it to answer that question.

So you should drop down to play within your bankroll. Then as you start to make money, cash out some $ and buy books with it. Do your own research, read some reviews, and figure out which book you might like. But use $ from your bankroll to buy the books. Remember, the goal here is not to spend any money on poker. In the mean time, read the posts here for strategy help. I recommend finding a basic NL strategy website, check out something like flopturnriver.com. It isn’t comprehensive, but it is a good place to start.

If your wife isn’t very supportive the rule is if you can’t break even, you shouldn’t be playing. It isn’t worth it. Each month, even if you are losing, pull out $30 and have flowers delivered to your wife at her work. No shit. Every month. Even if it is the last money in your bankroll, do it anyway. Don't make a big deal about it, but when she asks, let her know it is flowers from your poker winnings. I read a lot of pokerblogs (mostly because I don’t work that hard). I am quoting the last post from a pokerblog I used to read. It is a long read, but try and keep it in mind.

“Closers…

I will miss it, for sure, but I am writing this post to close this blog and to mark the end of my online poker play.

In short, the last eight months have been the hardest ones of my life. My wife of five years, who I love more than I can say, told me she was unhappy with her life with me, unsure of the choices she had made, was unsure whether marriage, either to me or to anyone, was right for her. There are things I could have done better in the relationship, to be sure, and I am working hard on changing those things. But I don’t think that my changes will save the marriage, so I make them for myself only. I didn’t know things were wrong, partly because she didn’t tell me clearly, and partly because I didn’t notice, tending as I do to get absorbed in my own hobbies, such as poker and music. We separated in November, and she has become emotionally paralyzed, unable to say whether she can really try to work things out or not, so I have given her two more months to decide. And if her decision then is still no decision, then I will have to make the call, and call it over.

We still love each other, we don’t fight, and there’s very little anger. For those reasons, being alone the last few months was even harder than when we were together in some kind of limbo. I realized that I lost a lot of my identity when I lost my wife. To find that identity again, to be, as Charlie Short says, “more of what I am and less of what I am not,” I have been reading a lot about relationships and about Zen Buddhism, taking painting classes, doing new activities, talking with friends, and changing the things about myself that I want to change. And through all this, I have still been playing online poker, although I took a break for the first two months after I learned about my wife’s feelings, and now it is time for me to change that too.

I have to say I’m envious of the online poker players who are making such good money, but I am not one of them. I have a job I generally like, and it pays pretty well. I play poker decently, but my problem with online poker is that it is always there, and even if I say to myself, “I will play only on occasion,” I still end up spending more of my free time playing than I want to, at the expense of other things I’d like to be doing. (And, to add to that, I have a fallen a couple times this year already into playing blackjack, at higher stakes than I should, incurring two big losses, which suggests a really troubling trend towards addictive gambling. That has to stop, and if I am playing online poker, it’s much easier for me to veer off into straight gambling.)

Additionally, I am sad, almost grieving, in many ways, at different levels, just treading in a general swath of sadness. Certainly grief is a bad state in which to play poker, even if that grief is far back in the brain much of the time. It is a little like grieving for a loved one who has died, because my love for my wife (and hers for me) hasn’t turned to hate or animosity; that love keeps emanating from me, but it’s lost its recipient.

I have played online for two years, made a little money, learned the game decently, but I need to spend the time when I am not working or sleeping doing something different, more life-affirming, more creative, more social, less money-driven. I am a good writer, a poet, a painter, a musician; I am curious about the world and my place in it. I need to open myself more to these things. With this kind of momentous life-change, losing my wife, losing what I thought would be my future, so much of my slate has been wiped clean; I have the opportunity to start over. I have made a lot of changes in the last eight months, learned a lot about myself, and so quitting online play is one more change I want to make.

There is a Zen koan that asks, “What was your face before your mother and father were born?” I am asking myself now, what was my face before I knew my wife? What was my face before I played online poker?

So I will say thanks to all the bloggers who I have read, met, and talked with. When I was out in Vegas for the blogger tournament in December, I was at very low point, my wife having just moved out, and being out there alone was actually one of the loneliest experiences I’ve ever had. But that loneliness was broken by some of the very kind bloggers I met there, whose friendliness and sincerity really made an impact on me, especially Grubby, Iggy, Pauly, and Otis. Thanks guys. (Grubby, the acting class starts up next Sunday—I’ll email and let you know how it goes.) I’ll miss you all too—because as I remove myself from the world of online poker, I have to cut the blogs from my life as well.

I wish everyone great luck and good fortune, both peace and knowledge, in good times and bad.

Ed"

Don't end up like this guy.

[ashmc2]

Hey, I appreciate the dr. Phil shit and all, Melioris, but you got it all wrong. We were running a little short one week and she asked me to direct deposit it for her. She actually supports all my nerdy habits. I think I like the flower idea though. In moderation of course. lol

I think I’ll try your suggestion about moving back down to .5/.10 and playing max buyin.
I think I play a little scared at the .25 tab. I was only buying in for $10.
I also like the use poker $ for all things poker.

Good news - since I got home this morn I’ve played 3 of those 10 SNG’s and have placed first all 3. River bailed me out a few times. To win the 1 SNG my pocket 8’s sucked out quads against other dudes pocket K’s. Sad I know. But everyone needs a little luck during a turny.

PS. I know you were just looking out, but leave the relationship stuff to the pros. lol

Now off to bed, I’ve got to be lively for the cash game tonight. Thanks for the advice and strategy site.

[melioris]

do you wear sunglasses when you play?

[ashmc2]

No i don't. But also I won't look at the deciding person if he's trying to stare me down. i just look straight ahead. I don't won't to give anything away. I do this both if i feel I want a call or I don't.

Hopefully this was an honest ? and your weren't just paying me back for the dr. Phil comment.