wake up call

[JDMcNugent7]

I feel like Everything in my life so far has happened at the perfect time. By that I mean that everything that has happened, I have later noticed made a positive influence on me or those around me. It is ridiculous really, but it always seems to work out that way. The only exception would be deaths of family members or friends, as I havent had any reason to beleive they had any positive effect.

Today's loss of $12,000 gave me a huge wake up call. Today was the first day in a long time that I played poker for way too long. I played for 6-7 hours today. I tend to do stupid things after winning large amounts of money as I become overconfident in my abilities and for some reason think I'm God's gift to poker for a day or so. I played forever because I was losing, not thinking straight, pissed, tilting, and really wanting to make the money back.

Because of that I saw none of my friends, skipped a class, and got mad at the GF for no reason other than how badly I was sucking in poker. This is very unlike me, as most here know, I deal very little with poker in my outside life.

Unfortunately, it took all this to make me realize how very little schoolwork i have done. I mean I have not been doing shit. I have been squeaking by so far, and I'm lucky I realized this now, as I still have time to fix it. A few times I've even thought about how dumb some of the college work is, and tried to convince myself I could play poker and the stock market the rest of my life without hassle. This also led me to this by ZJ at 2+2that made me realize how much i actually suck at poker. I honestly beleive I am hardly any good - All I have done is find a way to beat the average opponent, by logging 200,000 hands and developing a decent win rate. That does not make me a good player, just one that can beat the system based off odds and pyschology. That ZJ post is a whole new discussion in itself though.

I guess my wake up call is realizing im not very good at poker - and that I want to become Much better - and think that I will, that I need to get back on track in life and school, and that I need to start being more proactive and determined in what I do.