how to win at texas holdem

[dranate]

I have seen a few ok tutorials on how to play good texas hold. well I would like to share my secert of texas holdem which i call soup in a can. with this lets have the soup be 6 hands any hands you pick them. now the can is the poker table and you dont want to waste any of your soup so what you do is that you only play those 6 hands or else your soup will spill all over the table. there is only one expection to this rule is that when you get poket pairs. when you get one of your 6 hands you bet the pot if the pot is like 20 then bet 2.5x the pot. if anyone reraises preflop push all in. 88% or more of the time you will win. now when you get poket pairs the higher the card say 9 u bet 3x the pot but if you get poket 2`s bet 2x the pot. if you follow my insturctions and only play the soup you will win more money. if you have any questions please let me know good luck

[JDMcNugent7]

omg lol. expert strategy ty for ur secrets

[dranate]

i am only teaching this so new players dont quit after they lose

[stormswa]

this is amazing poker strategy, I hate soup though can we use a different analogy?

can it be like a hamburger on a plate and we dont want to spill any of the condiments on the plate? if we can change that I might use this strategy.

[Reel Deal]

Post of the Year. Hands down.

TP, since this pretty much shows us all, finally, how to win at this game, I think can just go ahead and shut down this site. It's been fun! Thanks.

[Zybomb]

Im not sure whether to take this as a joke or a serious post. Im assuming a joke but if not

Ignoring the 15 times you contradicted yourself in this post (bet the pot, but if the pot is 20 then bet 2x then with 22 bet 2x and 99 bet 3x and with 84s bet 11x. And where do you get that you will win 88% of the time if u push all in ) this has to be the worst advice I've ever seen.