Why do I play and what do I get out of it? What are my short and long-term goals? The latter questions are easier to answer. After playing B&M games on and off for a long time, I started to play the online game with a clear gameplan and defined goals. In April I deposited $50 into an online account with a pledge that that was it. As soon as I doubled it, I took out $50. If my account ever reaches $0, I am done, with only time lost. My long-term goal is to build my bankroll to $40,000. Assumptions based on hours of observations of high-buy-in online NL games led me to believe that $40,000 is my magic bankroll number. When I hang up my working shoes and play online poker as my only source of income (don’t we all have this dream?). My short-term answer for my bankroll to hit $3,000 by the end of January.
Now for the harder questions. (this is kind of cheesy, but honesty was requested.) Like most, I like the competitive aspects of poker. I like winning money. But there is more to it (and this is where maybe it gets cheesy). I like the fact that, like the universe, poker is completely governed by math. I remind myself of this when my 95% favorite gets busted on the river. 95% chance does not make for a certain event. It is the uncertainty, and (when I am playing well) exploiting that uncertainty to my advantage, that I love. It makes me feel part of the larger universe on a much grander scale. Each time you sit down at a table and buy-in, you are beholden only to yourself. All success and failure is yours alone. Sure luck is involved, but this is where the math comes in. Luck will eventually be the same for all, and all long-term success or failure cannot be attributed to luck. Let me put it another way, I play because NL poker is an expression of freedom. Each person can buy in for the same amount, and you have complete freedom to do as you choose at the table. Freedom, real freedom, is a scary thing and a lot of people do not do well with that much responsibility over themselves. It makes me feel good about myself to excel in this type of an environment.
Sorry for the blah-blah nature of this post, but you got me thinking. As I reread it I think I sound like some right-wing freak. Really I am bleeding heart liberal. Kind of funny what poker does to you.
|