[Talking Poker]

Hilarious chat transcript. This is from Full Tilt a few days ago...


FullTiltPoker Game #204430016: Table Gardenia - $50/$100 - No Limit
Hold'em - 1:58:31 ET - 2005/09/02
Seat 5: Spirit Rock ($26,811.50)
Seat 6: Mike Matusow ($16,146.50)
Mike Matusow posts the small blind of $50
Spirit Rock posts the big blind of $100
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Mike Matusow raises to $300
Spirit Rock calls $200
*** FLOP *** [Tc 4h 5s]
Spirit Rock checks
Mike Matusow bets $600
Spirit Rock raises to $2,400
Mike Matusow calls $1,800
*** TURN *** [Tc 4h 5s] [3d]
Spirit Rock bets $3,000
The_Trench (Observer): my pee pee is brown and smelly
Mike Matusow calls $3,000
*** RIVER *** [Tc 4h 5s 3d] [5c]
elitekilr (Observer): oh man big pot here
Spirit Rock bets $21,111.50, and is all in
Mike Matusow has 15 seconds left to act
Mike Matusow calls $10,446.50, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $10,665 returned to Spirit Rock
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Spirit Rock shows [6s Qd] (a pair of Fives)
Mike Matusow shows [Qs Ah] (a pair of Fives)
Mike Matusow wins the pot ($32,292.50) with a pair of Fives
Mikeh77 (Observer): YES
The_Trench (Observer): LOL
chipdynamite (Observer): LOL
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $32,293 | Rake $0.50
Board: [Tc 4h 5s 3d 5c]
Seat 5: Spirit Rock (big blind) showed [6s Qd] and lost with a pair of
Fives
Seat 6: Mike Matusow (small blind) showed [Qs Ah] and won ($32,292.50)
with a pair of Fives
Mike Matusow: kiddy games down the fking street
Spirit Rock: you are such an ahol
Mike Matusow: already know that
Spirit Rock: just take the pot nice call
Spirit Rock: no need to needle
Spirit Rock: you fking jerk
Spirit Rock: dont ever speak to me again
Spirit Rock: cant just take the pot
Mike Matusow: hey when i went broke u started
needing
Spirit Rock: gotta needle after 32k pot
Mike Matusow: u said i suck come oon coomeo
Mike Matusow: so i came
Spirit Rock: seriously dont even come up to me
Spirit Rock: if you see me in person
Spirit Rock: dont come near me
Spirit Rock: call everytime you gonna win sometimes
Mike Matusow: p that was the easest call ever
Spirit Rock: you gonna need a lot of luck
Spirit Rock: to beat me
Dealer: Mike Matusow mucks
into 5k then all in on river on pure bluff
Spirit Rock: you right
Spirit Rock: very easy call
Dealer: Spirit Rock wins the pot ($200)
Mike Matusow: it was
Spirit Rock: if that was a easy call
Spirit Rock: you must be back on drugs
Mike Matusow: n aim just that good sir
Spirit Rock: yeah ive been noticing you been playing
real well lately
Dealer: Mike Matusow raises to $300
Spirit Rock: LOL
Spirit Rock: actually worst ive ever seen you play
recently
Spirit Rock: but you just in slump
Spirit Rock: i mean you are playing terrible
Spirit Rock: its crazy
Mike Matusow: u wouldnt talk to me for weeks now i
play great and u cry
Mike Matusow: lol
Spirit Rock: never ever seen you paly this bad
Spirit Rock: cant believe i ever gave you chances to
be friends
Spirit Rock: oh well thats all done
Spirit Rock: chat off
Spirit Rock: i mean you are truly playing my god
aweful
Dealer: Hand #204438266
Spirit Rock: insane
Mike Matusow: nh guess the crying is over
Spirit Rock: just call everytime
Spirit Rock: maybe you'll win another won soon
Spirit Rock: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE
Spirit Rock: MIKEY
Spirit Rock: good call to win that 1600 in middle
Spirit Rock: ALL I DO IS BLUFF
Dealer: Hand #204439384
Spirit Rock: AND I NEVER MAKE A HAND
Spirit Rock: JUST CALL ME EVERYTIME
Spirit Rock: DONT EVER FOLD MIKEY
Spirit Rock: so mike can i get it in writing that you
will never quit me?
Spirit Rock: lol
Mike Matusow: i will always play u
Mike Matusow: u know thath
Spirit Rock: that is terrific!!!!!!!
Mike Matusow: i polay anyone
Spirit Rock: good then i wont have to wait around
Spirit Rock: for people
Mike Matusow: dont worry if i dont bust u ivy will
Spirit Rock: i will always have you to play
Spirit Rock: sweet
Spirit Rock: i heard you claimed i would bust ivey
Spirit Rock: i guess now you changed your mind
Spirit Rock: you sure go back and forth
Spirit Rock: back and forth
Mike Matusow: well that becuse hes not a fking
prick like u
Spirit Rock: this thing one day that thing the other
day
Mike Matusow: u not a tenth of a player i am or ivy
so go cry
Spirit Rock: id rather be known as a prick
Dealer: Spirit Rock wins the pot ($200)
Spirit Rock: then have 100 fake friends
Spirit Rock: poker world is a joke
Spirit Rock: you woulda put all the money in
Spirit Rock: im sure
Mike Matusow: see the thing is i can make the big
call
Dealer: Mike Matusow wins the pot ($100)
Dealer: Hand #204449262
Mike Matusow: that what u havnt figured out yet
Mike Matusow: see now hes trying to play good as
soon sa he loses apot
Mike Matusow: his seamy self shows
Spirit Rock: the fold button is located on the left
Perry Friedman (Observer): Hey Mike, did they have
you breaking rocks while you were in prison?